Dusting Off

Well, we didn't make it.


Its been nearly 6 months since we seperated with her going back home, and me filing the paperwork. This has been one of the toughest times of my life, and divorcing her feels like some part of me is actually being ripped away from me.


I often meet so many people that don't hold marriage at the same point of sacredness as I do. I was actually proud to say that I was married, the title "Husband" was a point of pride for me. I can say that with all honesty that I never cheated, and even if I looked at other women, my wife (now ex) was mine and precious beyond all the others.


I'm saying this so that how might read this may get the point of how painful it is for me to go through this divorce. But I did it because I was starting to fail as a father and my daughter was beginning to suffer. My ex was starting to openly neglect her and with me feeling so uncomfortable in the house I was not around to see, and partly was beginning to ignore such things.


I'm glad that I noticed soon enough to correct it, but it was when my daughter scolded her leg under the bath faucet that I noticed just how much my ex wasn't concerned about our child.

I was sleeping that day, as I was working nights. I awoke to my daughter screaming her head off, and the skin around her ankle slagging off (3rd degree burn...). I rushed about getting her ready for the hospital, asking my ex for help... but all she was doing was cleaning the house.

When I asked her what she was doing, she replied that people would be coming to inspect our house and it needed to be clean. This was followed about how embarrassed she was and that she didn't want people to see her like this.

That was the last straw, my daughter's leg was blistering up while she was wailing at the top of her lungs, and my ex could only think of herself. And that was when I realized how much she was letting our child lie in bed or stand at the baby gate crying while she slept after downing a bottle of wine or a hefty mixed drink... it was then I knew I had to make a choice, as she wasn't going to let me be a husband and a father... she had already told me that.

So here I am now, my pride stripped from me and feeling like I've been beat to the ground then followed by a good kicking. But I'm back on my feet now and dusting off... hopefully soon I'll be back to where I need to be...